So a Priest Walks into a Bar...

A new photo has been added to the managers office door. Displayed in an America's Most Wanted like fashion, Preacher Man takes his place among the other distinguished players...the Dine and Dash'ers, the Pick-Pocket'ers and the New York Times Critic of Food'ers. Accompanying each picture, a detailed description and resume of the offenders, and most helpful, step by step instructions of what to do if and when they enter the restaurant.
Refuse service to the Dine and Dash'ers.
Call the police for the Pick-Pocket'ers.
Show the Food Critic to the best table in the house.
Needless to say, memorizing each photo with its corresponding crime is critical as no one wants to see Frank Bruni led away in cuffs while Sticky Fingers Sally enjoys her delicious Satyr Farm Baby Beet Salad at table 5. Such a rich tapestry, TriBeCa.

More than the others, Preacher Man sounds the most interesting. As of yet, I haven't had the pleasure, but hope to soon. Slender, nicely dressed, clean cut, this "man of God" comes into the restaurant, stands in the middle of the room and quietly preaches while the managers and other waiters try to gently walk him out. Positively unmovable and in a trance like calm, he continues his sermon of love, oblivious to the anger surrounding him. He is spoken to loudly, then softly then loudly again. Fingers snapping inches from his face, trying to break the spell but to no avail, Preacher Man carries inside him much more powerful magic. Can I get an Amen?

Sure, there's a chance Preacher Man's conversations with God might be strictly one way. Perhaps he's got a loose nail in cross, his halo a little askew, the crown of thorns, a bit too tight, the sword in his side only goes through half way - Been there. But in my experience, Preacher Man's MO ain't all that bad. "He's crazy." They all say, and that may be, but, and I haven't actually seen the man, so this is just my opinion - he may be crazy, but just a little bit. He seems to know what he's doing, he keeps to a schedule, and even with fingers annoyingly being snapped in his face, he never lashes out, but most of all is the volume at which he preaches...QUIET. How many crazy people have you seen in the subway, on a street corner, in the park, quietly preaching the word of God? How do you get someone's attention...whisper.

While I'm very curious to see this man for myself, I'm not looking forward to more of the already asked questions - "No, I don't know him. Not all crazy people are friends." "I wouldn't know how to deal with him better than anybody else, there's no secret handshake." And all the looks I get when his name is mentioned, like it's my fault, a moth, attracted to a much healthier but still slightly dimmed flame.

So a Priest, a Pick-Pocket and a Food Critic walk into a bar (insert joke here).