TD TESS

As I turned, the world gradually slowed. The 47 people standing between her and me, their heads, arms, shoulders, gift filled shopping bags, all positioned perfectly for her eyes to meet my eyes in an unobstructed everlasting flash of Oh Shit!

A voice in my head screamed, "Go! Run!" The look in her eyes hoped I would follow that advice, but as fast as my mind was racing, my legs were as slow moving and before I could step off the curb, we were face to face for the first time since my breakdown. "Hi, Sophia," I said. "Hi, Paul-David," said she. And the World came to a complete halt. It was just me. And it was just her. And...ahh...who's that big guy standing next to you and why is he looking at me that way?

New to the city, Sophia didn't have a lot of friends and I, for no and for many reasons, didn't have a lot of friends. For some reason, she liked me. When others called me weird, she called me interesting. The blocks of time skipped over in our conversations were not her business she felt - never asking, but quietly waiting for me to tell. I liked that. I liked her. And what I liked most was how normal she seemed. Laughing at the right moments, crying at the right moments, angry, pissed off and furious all at the right moments. Such appropriate behavior I have rarely seen, and in the time we spent together, she made me feel appropriate too. I enjoyed her world and she welcomed me to it having no idea what she was inviting in.

Standing in the shadow of Sophia's boyfriend's huge frame, I watched as he clarified the situation. "This is the guy? This little thing? Well, what do you know?" He laughs as I squeezed out a few stupid pieces of small talk. "How are you?" She answered, "Fine." "Beautiful day, huh?" She answered, "Yes, it is. "So, where are you working now?" Her tree of a boyfriend answered, "None of your fucking business, Slim."

Sorry...I'm really sorry.

"What the hell," he says. "We all go a little crazy sometimes, right? Look at me, I've been going to the same therapist for 8 years, and I'm still fucked up."

The Oak Tree laughs.

"One therapist in 8 years? Maybe it's time to find another Doctor. Just how fucked up are you?" I asked.

Sophia laughs.

And for a brief moment, her defences are down. Smiling, she asks, "How many doctors have you had?" "Hundreds," I say, "but I'm really fucked up." And up again go the walls.

She takes her boyfriend's hand, nods her head to me and off they go, lost in the crowd again. And I see the world slowly spinning back to normal.